Rising above, slowly but surely, THe connections that are made in life  in the most desperate of moments  seem to be the ones that last, those fragile threads  almost like spiderweb string, so thin but  relatively strong.  It’s hard to not be bitter, or angry  or frustrated   even still, but  as I’m learning  it’s what you do with those energies, where you Put your foot next, ( although right into  someone’s face would seem appropriate )  I’m a that  Point  where I can Laugh at it, oh it’s still disgusting, but I can laugh at it . The desperation dripping from the entire situation fuels my laughter further,   I’m not the type to give up on a person, perhaps that’s what has me still , although its almost  out of pity,

 I think that grain of pity comes from the fact that I spent a year having faith  and putting energy into something I thought was going to last , not fall like a house of cards.   That thing you wanted me to be all along  isn’t going to happen  at least not with you, it could have  but you walked away .  I Dont get pleasure in showing you what you missed I get pleasure in  knowing I was better  and will continue to be  I am not PERFECT  I am REAL ,

I Dont lose my head,  I calculate and when i give it’s endless, my intentions are true  and my lack of censorship   just  portrays how in tune with truth that I am.  you  made me need you then punished me for it  so that when i really did need you  you were done, shitty, go get taken advantage of  go get used an abused and dragged through the mud I shall applaud the horrific mess you are turning into, for it is NOT the person I fell in love with, even that person was far perfect, I MADE exceptions  for you as much as you made them for ME . No boundaries will hold me  No opinions will sheild me from being myself, dearest Marilyn and her quotes, “If you can’t handle me at my worst you sure as HELL DO NOT  deserve me at my BEST ”, wrap yourself in the blanket of lies.